Men are what their mothers made them. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Burying your mum two days before Mother’s Day is no simple matter. Even though it was International Happiness Day, it didn’t make it any easier. We’re only just beginning to realize what a difference it will make to our own lives not having my mother-in-law around. She’d lived with us for a year before going into hospital with a broken leg. That brought about numerous chest infections. She’d become part of the way we do things and leaves an emptiness behind. Mother’s Day gives us the chance to connect again with the close family members to reflect on the funeral. Future years may give us the opportunity to look back on what she brought to the family as a whole.
Losing my own mum two years ago, all that grief comes back again. That’s how it should be though, we’re meant to feel it in our hearts. It’s the normal process of things. When they go in their nineties and they’ve lived a good life, there’s a lot to celebrate. Grief can take on many guises though, it creates an emotional roller-coaster. The cross-gender parent child relationship can often be the most powerful. No matter how expected it may be, the pain of loss though death can’t be easily overcome. Nurturing mothers should be revered as they have so much to contend with. They are often the unsung heroes of the family and can suffer under immense pressure.
Our mothers generally teach us more than anyone, and their love usually determines our ability to love and be loved. Judgment has for too long been unfair against women generally. Even though times are changing, in many parts of the world mothers don’t receive the love or respect they deserve. Mother is another word for love. As we see all this crazy Corona Virus situation emerge, the fear of mothers for their children will put even more negativity into the ether. We’ve just buried one member of our family, but another is due to arrive in June. Life has a magnificent way of replenishing itself, even though it can never replace anyone.
Fear is the most underlying emotion that creates a massive amount of action. The current health and economic downturn will destroy many relationships. Reconstructing a broken relationship can be a slow and long drawn out process. Unless both sides are at least willing to communicate any chance of success is unlikely. However, even when one party is no longer alive, bridges can still be built by the survivor for their own benefit. Looking at the problems and the scenario that caused the rift is the best place to start. Writing a letter to the person or the universe is a good intermediary step. Forgiving each other from your heart is the ultimate goal.
Love requires compassion, empathy and forgiveness to be felt. Our mothers generally have this understanding from our birth. Nature plays a bigger part in our lives than most people give it credit for. It usually just get’s on with life and accepts death as a consequence of being. Learning awareness, acceptance and appreciation helps to create the blessings of life in every relationship.
Value your mother every day for the life and love she has imparted into you xx.