Nice and Nasty

Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. Few of us are able to understand that we limit ourselves by what we say to ourselves within our own head. The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams becoming a reality. When we realise how seldom other people actually think about us because they are too busy thinking thoughts about themselves we don’t worry about what they think of us. During the last week I spoke with a man that was spiralling into depression simply because he couldn’t see and appreciate what he already had, yet two previous paid consultations with supposed experts, had only left him more embittered and mixed up than before he met them. This also poses the question as to how much use all the new influx of life and business coaches actually are. Each of us knows our own physical well being, emotional state and spiritual belief better than anyone else, so it’s usually only the environment we’re in that we personally can’t change without taking task that might affect others.

There is a fine line between the nice us and the nasty us and when we tell ourselves things which are anti-positive we affect our own persona directly far more than outside influences. At the opening event for ex-servicemen’s charity LOL Foundation recently, I heard how some individuals stress had led them to pursue a life of drink and drug abuse leading to violence towards themselves and their families and yet they only needed a worthwhile outlet for their energy to be able to not only help themselves but the community too. So many people live in fear of things that may never happen; it stops their ability to manifest what they want. An email from a Cyprus friend telling me of the “Troika haircut” economic woes doesn’t help them to improve the situation one bit because they hold so much value on the money in their bank instead of finding a method to plug the leaks to help what they have flow better so as to regain their losses.

Anyone who has ever lost anything of value to them never gets over that loss until all resentment surrounding it has gone. Holding on to and reliving the negatives of any situation only promotes having more of the same. The worse we are to ourselves, the more we resent the circumstances. One phone call from someone needing help last week established that he was quite capable of helping himself only he couldn’t see the blindingly obvious because of his own bad feelings about what had happened to him. We are defined by what we stand for so if negativity and bad thoughts dominate our thinking that’s what others will perceive us to be. However if we take a stand for ourselves rather than what has happened to us and let our authentic self shine through, none of the negativity can affect us. Being grateful and appreciating everything that we have will bring us more of what we want.

There is a place for our nasty side to protect us, but rather than subdue to ideas of anti-positive thinking we need to change those same energies to create goodness and manifest a happy life not through the absence of hardships but in the challenge and mastery of overcoming them. There are always two sides to every story and we each view a situation from a very different perspective. Only by forgiving yourself for your mistakes and forgiving others for what you perceive they have done wrong to you are you able to remove the resentment from your life and move forward without the past affecting your health, your decisions and your contentedness. We start our thought processes the moment we are born. When these thoughts become beliefs they determine the rest of our thinking. Those beliefs, thoughts and feelings then determine our behaviour. Our behaviour creates our actions which in turn determines what happens to us and ultimately creates our destiny.

The secret to living is giving; we merely need to give more to become satisfied. By giving affection, appreciation, caring and love to everyone we encounter we will receive back more than we ever believed possible. We can also too easily make the mistake of giving too much of ourselves, our wealth, our time or our love so we become depleted and give from a point of weakness rather than strength. That balance of what we give to what we receive has to be felt as being equal to maintain harmony within us. Unless we protect our self first we are likely to suffer the ills that befall the very people we want to help.

Endeavour to give more of what you want to receive it back multiplied.