Over the Bank Holiday weekend I’ve been spending some relaxation time reading and listening to CD’s and DVD’s about what’s important in life and the biggest learning to come out of it has been the here and now. It’s not what’s gone before or even what’s to come but the now is where it’s at. Enjoying every minute of every day to the full is really the most valuable thing we can do for ourselves and those around us. Recently I heard about the biggest regrets people have when they get to an age that they can’t do anything for themselves any more. In fifth place is people not allowing themselves to be happier. So many people just do not realise that happiness is a choice and can easily be a way of life. Fourth is staying in touch with friends, we get so caught up in our own lives that we actually forget to keep in contact with the very people whose memories will sustain when we have little else left to enjoy.Thirdly lots wish they had had enough courage to express their feelings rather than suppress them. Those same people often let us know their feelings loud and clear when they do get old. Second is working too hard, especially men, who miss out on so much by being on the treadmill of a job when in reality they could have been much happier with less. The biggest regret though is not having the courage to be true to oneself, not doing what they wanted to do but what others expected of them.
Isn’t it strange that people do what others expect rather than doing what will make them happy? Surely it’s better to be happy if only for one day than to have regrets all our life. A friend of mine missed being in a well-known band because his father wanted him to have a trade, so he became a bricklayer and his friends became millionaires. The resentment of that has been aimed at his father for the whole of his life and yet his father was doing what he thought best for his son at the time. We have to be careful not to carry that type of indignation through our lives as we become the sufferers of someone else’s misjudgement. Seeing a Tony Robbins video at an event over on Sunday showed a lady in her late sixties that had spent her whole life resenting her sister because she wouldn’t show her vulnerability to her father. It was really quite moving but of course Robbins made all the difference and changed her life.
We can all go through life changing events and they are not necessarily for the good but the realisation of what happens to us and the understanding of where we are, where we’ve been and where we’re going can and should make us value the here and now above everything else. I read an affirmation for today that said “I am grateful for my life. I appreciate everyone and everything”. Having that gratitude and appreciation for everything is so important to receiving anything. What makes each of us different are the experiences we have lived through. Everything we have ever seen or heard, touched, tasted or smelt has had an effect on us and is stored somewhere in our brain. They createconscious and unconsciousmemories that make us who we are and create our beliefs about what we can achieve and why. Making ourselves happy has to be one of the most crucial of our skills if we can only find the right mechanics to bring it about. Sometimes we just have to be children again to enjoy being adults but so many grownups miss out on that through sheer embarrassment of being who they really are.
It’s a sad affair when we can’t be who we want to be or follow our own destiny. We can stimulate our thinking by asking ourselves certain leading questions like; what is your most treasured memory? For me the birth of my daughter must take poll position as the emotion with it was unsurpassable but each of us has different stimulation to our thinking all the while. Whilst appreciation and gratitude rank high in our acceptance of what we have, curiosity must be one of the most natural instincts to create a life of joy. The inquisitiveness of a child about anything and everything keeps us alive if we seek more and more knowledge. It stops boredom sneaking in which would really be an excuse to do something else. Combine curiosity with some passion and excitementand we have the makings of a very sellable product.
Endeavour to appreciate what’s important right now.